That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
