$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
