"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
