Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
