Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize