I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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