if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
