i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my being single is dangerous.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
