No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
