did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
