Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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