i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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