I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
