She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
