i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
