your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
