We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize