You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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