you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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