Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
