Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
