In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
