i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
