HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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