i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
