I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize