I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
