dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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