Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
