Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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