How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
