THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
