are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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