its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize