She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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