It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
