You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize