I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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