hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
