i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
