I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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