Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
