Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
