kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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