and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
