the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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