somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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