dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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