just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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