I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
