Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
