wakey wakey hands off snakey
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
