I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
