well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
