there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize