Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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