i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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