ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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