About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
