I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
