some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
