i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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