Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
