I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
