small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
