sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Redeem this text for a blowjob
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
