That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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